Oblivious to Time
by Lachenna
Summary: When Lenalee Lee first met Allen Walker, she knew it would change her life forever. After all, finding a new exorcist comrade had always had that effect on her. But even then, she had no way of knowing just how much that boy would change. This is the story of what goes on behind the scenes of the cannon story. Details inside. AllenxLenalee. Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story requires a little bit more explanation than my other stories. The basic premise is that it covers what's going on behind the scenes during the cannon story, with Allen and Lenalee's feelings for each other. It follows a blend of the anime and the manga; I try to be as true to the manga as I can, but there are some filler episodes from the first part of the anime that I feel are rather important for their relationship.

I very much dislike fanfiction stories that repeat pieces of the original stories word for word, so I try very hard to keep that to a minimum here. The few times I do repeat dialogue word for word, it's from first person, so the focus is more on the character's thoughts rather than the dialogue.

A little bit of history: I've been writing this story out of order, so pieces of it are actually older than my account on this website. It's the very first fanfiction story I started writing. Because I write it out of order, so I was waiting to post it until I actually had the first chapters written. It's still got some gaps, but I'm really hoping that posting it will motivate me to work on it more often.

*TL/DR: This follows the anime through episode 40 then it switches to following the manga, skipping over things that are irrelevant to Allen and Lenalee's relationship.

Now, on with the story!

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

The day Allen Walker arrived at headquarters changed my life. I may not have known at the time just how completely he would change it, but I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on him that he was special.

I was excited to have a new family member. A new exorcist comrade. And he was my age. Part of me was even glad that I was no longer the youngest. Though I would learn later that when it came to maturity, Allen was much older than the rest of us.

And dear God was he cute. He was short for a guy, but that put us on the same eye level, and I hadn't expected to like that. Then again, his eyes were gorgeous, large and such a bright, clear silver. That was probably why I liked his lack of height. His hair was short too, something unique when most of the men I knew wore theirs long. But the length wasn't what was truly unique about his hair. No, that was the color. That pure white that looked like snow. At first, I thought it was dyed, but his roots weren't dark and his eyebrows were white too. Even his eyelashes were white. It was so strange, yet at the same time so ... perfect.

And then there was that scar. He'd called it a curse when he failed the gatekeeper's exam. It was off putting at first, the way the red stood out against his pale skin. But there was something about the way it framed his face. Something about the way it scrunched up when he smiled. It completed him somehow. I couldn't picture him without it, and found that I didn't want to.

That failed exam had freaked me out. I was scared, not just at the possibility of danger, but that there might be something wrong with that boy who was so kind and sweet. Nii-san's assurances that only humans could be cursed calmed me, but the worry for that boy remained.

... ... I...

Oh dear lord, I had a crush on him. I'd known Allen Walker for maybe an hour and I was already infatuated with him. But maybe that wasn't so surprising. He was nice and he made me laugh. I figured it would blow over as I got to know him better, so I decided to forget about it.

He certainly wasn't making it easy though. He'd stood his ground against Kanda and Mugen, when most fully grown men would have turned and ran. He didn't hide that he was afraid of Komui's drill. And according to Nii-san, he had even activated his paralyzed Innocence during Hevlaska's exam. This was someone who knew who he was and what he wanted out of life. And it made him even more intriguing.

Then came the incident in the cafeteria. When Reever and I found him, Kanda was giving him his best death glare. I was safe because of my gender, but it was a look that made any partially sane person run and hide. Except for Allen. He looked just as pissed as Kanda. Apparently, they had managed to hate each other already. And it wasn't over anything petty; it was a legitimate rivalry. Allen had the backbone to stand up to Kanda, and Kanda, well Kanda had never had someone stand up to him before. This would be good for both of them in the long run. So long as everyone stayed out of their way. Anyone who got too close was liable to get caught in the crossfire.

Like right then. The finders had all fled the cafeteria because of the aura they were giving off. Reever was too chicken to approach, but I didn't blame him. Surprisingly, talk of a mission snapped them out of it immediately.

And unfortunately, my crush was still going strong. It even survived watching Allen wolf down a week's worth of food in under ten minutes. But then again, I had been with the Order for some time and I was well acquainted with a parasite-type's need to eat, so it really wasn't that weird to me.

The usual method of waking Komui was normally just cause for an eye roll. But after Allen's arrival, it became embarrassing. I didn't like having my crush witness Nii-san's overprotective side. I'd had crushes before, but this was the first time I felt like keeping one away from my brother. Which was not helping with my plan of forgetting about the crush.

He was leaving immediately for a mission though, and I was glad for it, because even though I wanted him to stay, I knew that by the time he came back, my crush would have worn off and we could be friends.

I was so very wrong about that...

.x.x.

The green haired Chinese girl was pretty, and it was nice of her to welcome me and show me around. In my experience, girls my own age weren't usually that friendly. At least not to me.

Honestly, I didn't think much else of Lenalee that day.

But then again, why would I? Between finally arriving at the headquarters of the Black Order, the incident at the gate, and the various examinations of my Innocence, there was just too much other stuff going on. And on top of that, I was gay. There was absolutely no reason for me to give a woman a second thought, no matter how pretty she might have been.

.x.x.

I'm fairly certain that Allen thinks I'm a snob. My words and actions towards him when he returned from his mission definitely came off as rude. I couldn't help it though. And it certainly wasn't my intention to make him feel bad. I just didn't expect my heart to start beating like that. I thought my crush had passed. I thought I was over it.

I wasn't. If anything, it was worse. I had a hard time forming a coherent sentence. Hence why that sentence came off as rude. I needed to get myself under control. If I continued like this, I wouldn't even be able to be friends with him. This was not the way to get to know him better.

I hoped the surprise party would make up for my rude behavior and help him feel better. The only problem with that though, was that I couldn't find him anywhere. I was kicking myself internally when I ran into Toma, the finder that had accompanied Allen on his mission. While it was relieving to learn that my behavior wasn't the reason for his sudden disappearance, my worry only spiked higher. So we chased after him.

It was a good thing we did. Finding him in the middle of a graveyard, kneeling between a child and the Millennium Earl, having taken an akuma bullet... That was heart stopping. But before I could panic over him, the poison cleared up.

I ran closer and got within hearing range just in time to hear the Earl say that he remembered Allen from the time when Allen tried to turn his father into an akuma. There were so many things wrong with that statement. Not the least of which was that Allen was alive and human.

I listened in awe and horror as Allen told the story of how he'd been cursed. I'd never given much thought to how akuma were made before, but it was apparently something Allen thought about all the time. He fought, not because he was required to as an accommodator, but because he wanted to free the souls that were trapped inside the akuma.

Then the Earl summoned more akuma and I sprang into action before I could put any more thought into it.

.x.x.

There was a lot going on that night in the graveyard. Jean and Leo. The Earl. All those memories of what happened the night I tried to bring back Mana. I barely even registered surprise at learning Lenalee was an exorcist. And after that, there was fighting off the akuma and trying not to pass out as the exhaustion set in. The whole night was one big blur.

There was one clear moment in all of the chaos though. The image of Lenalee floating in front of the full moon with her Innocence activated burned in my mind. In that moment she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. It was a strange thought to have, especially when I had barely noticed that she was female prior to that night. I didn't know it then, but that was the moment I fell in love.

.x.x.

It started out like a normal morning, taking coffee to my brother and the guys in the science division. I bumped into Allen on the way, which was lucky since he was headed to the cafeteria. Fortunately, after the incident in the graveyard, I now knew the perfect way to keep him away from the preparations for his surprise party. And sure enough, he didn't say no to helping me carry the coffee.

Allen was adorable in the way he talked to the scientists. It was a good thing Komui was too busy with his robot to notice that I was practically drooling over that boy. Of course, that's when the robot decided to drink Nii-san's coffee and go on a rampage. It caught me before I could even process what was going on. I was too distracted by Allen; like the others, he was freaked out over what the robot wanted to do to me, but was that because he liked me or simply because he was a nice person?

There was no time to wonder about that though, obviously, and I put everything I had into trying to escape and yelling at my brother to help me. I was angry at Komui for not being able to choose me over his stupid robot, but that was nothing compared to the indignation I felt when he sicked the robot on Allen to save me. Unfortunately, I was knocked out before I could do anything about it.

...

I woke up just in time to see Allen get caught by the robot. Though I was still groggy, I didn't need to force myself into action; Allen was in trouble, I had to help him. I'd justify it later by insisting to myself that he was a friend, and I would do anything to protect my friends, but I knew it was a lie. While it was true that I would do anything for my friends, it was my feelings for Allen that made me act the way I did.

I was so agonized over him getting captured because I was falling in love with him.

This was no longer a simple crush. I had actual feelings for the boy. And I could no longer deny that. Not when the sight of him shirtless kept replaying through my mind.

I had been attracted to Allen from the beginning, but it wasn't until I saw him shirtless that that attraction went beyond simply thinking that he was hot and had a personality that I wanted to get to know better. His toned chest and chiseled abs were drool worthy, and more than once after that day, I caught myself wondering things like if his lower half was just as toned, or if the carpet matched the drapes.

I knew that those kinds of thoughts were improper, but that didn't bother me. No, the only part that bothered me was the wondering if Allen would ever like me back.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to those of you who reviewed/followed/favorited. My AllenxLenalee stuff doesn't attract as much traffic as my other stories, and this is one I've put a lot of my heart into, so it's nice to have it be appreciated. :)

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

I had been at the Order for a while now. It truly was beginning to feel like home. With one glaringly obvious exception, everyone was incredibly nice to me, and while I still had my misgivings, it seemed like they actually liked me for me and not just because I was useful to them as an exorcist. Lenalee especially.

In the short time I'd known her, the Chinese girl had already become the best friend I'd ever had. Lenalee was so kind and easy to talk to, and I found myself trusting her with things that I thought I'd never tell anyone. She knew about what happened with Mana, and yet she never judged me for any of it. I also loved being her confidante and having her open up to me. Even little things about her, like that she didn't like the Order before her brother came, were enchanting to learn.

Going on missions with her was always enjoyable, and this time was no exception. Though the idea of a town that was somehow repeating the same day over and over again was more than a little strange.

I liked being around Lenalee, so it was a bit disappointing when she suggested that we split up, but that was nowhere near as disappointing as meeting back up with her was, knowing that I had let our best lead slip through my fingers. As bad as I felt for letting that strange woman get away, I felt a whole lot worse for letting Lenalee down. That hard, unfeeling stare she gave me as she lectured me was quite harsh. I tried to play it off as us just having to find the woman later on, but Lenalee was not impressed with my optimism.

Fortunately for my pride, the mystery woman showed up at the pub while we were talking. Miranda was a handful to deal with, always yelling or crying about something, but it was worth putting up with, as she led us straight to the Innocence we were looking for. I thought Lenalee's theory that Miranda was the accommodator of the Innocence was brilliant, but the plan to cheer her up by getting her a job got old really quickly.

Three days later, or rather, the third time October 28th had repeated since we'd met Miranda, we were on job number six. This job was actually somewhat fun; being a street performer was nostalgic, and getting to use those skills as an exorcist was fun. It was definitely embarrassing that Lenalee had seen me performing though.

I wasn't sure why that was; embarrassment was simply the emotion I felt when she told me I was good. I brushed it aside by talking about my time as a clown, and the way Lenalee's face lit up at the thought of traveling to different countries was definitely amusing. To my surprise, she reciprocated with her own backstory, answering my question about how she came to the Order. Learning that she'd been ripped from her home was sad; it was hard to hear that she once regarded the place she now considered her home as prison. I hated that the cheerful girl beside me used to live in such awful circumstances.

There was so much more that I wanted to ask her, but we were distracted by Miranda screaming. It was awful that she'd gotten pickpocketed, but what sucked even more than that was getting tricked by the akuma and knocked unconscious.

... ... ...

When I woke up in Road's dream world, things went from bad to worse. It was a chaotic time, learning about the Noah, getting stabbed in the eye, trying to save Miranda and Lenalee. It helped a lot when Miranda was able to activate her Innocence, and it was quite relieving that her control over time was able to heal Lenalee's paralysis; it may not have been a high priority worry at the time, but the image of Lenalee as Road's doll would frequently come back to haunt me.

Working on a team with Lenalee was a dream. Not only were we much more powerful together than we could ever hope to be apart, we didn't have to work at it. Fighting alongside Lenalee came perfectly naturally to me. It was second nature; we just fit. I understood her moves as perfectly as if they were my own.

Right when it seemed like we'd leveled the playing field and were facing a fair fight, Road ordered one of the akuma under her command to self-destruct.

There was only one thought going through my head in that moment: I had to defeat it before it exploded so that I could save the soul trapped inside. I readied my weapon and threw myself at the akuma, only to be pulled away at the last second.

Watching the soul fizzle out was incredibly painful, and I was beyond angry at Lenalee for stopping me from saving it. But the slap across the face that she gave me in response to my anger was as unexpected as the fact that she was crying. I definitely did not understand what had just happened. And her explanation was just as confusing. What did us being friends have to do with her stopping me from saving the akuma?

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to actually ask her that, as Road chose that moment to remind us of her presence.

I tried to take out my rage over what had happened on the Noah girl, but the fact that she was human really tied my hands; even though she was my enemy, I would never be able to hurt a fellow human.

When the dream world started to crumble around us, I thought for sure that that was the end of everything. I ran towards Lenalee as she called out for me, but I didn't make it. Instead, I could do nothing but watch as the ground crumbled beneath her and she fell into the darkness.

Waking up back in Miranda's apartment was severely disorienting. That we had all somehow survived all of that was nothing short of a miracle. Convincing Miranda to deactivate her Innocence was a piece of cake; I felt like I could face anything after that, and my injuries were no exception.

I did not feel nearly as confident when I next woke up and realized that being injured meant that Komui was going to have to use his giant drill to fix my arm. Honestly, I almost would have preferred to face Road again.

Losing the use of my left eye was quite an adjustment. I had never had to fight without it before, and having to do just that was rather terrifying. The realization that that was how all of my comrades fought was disturbing. But if they could do it, I could do it too. I was not going to let this stop me from being an exorcist.

Despite my resolve, I was incredibly relieved that my eye healed and I wouldn't have to actually go through life without it.

.x.x.

I was irate, livid, enraged, furious, and every other synonym for "completely pissed off" that I could think of.

I was pissed at Allen for what he'd done. Pissed that he'd needlessly risk his life like that. Pissed that he didn't seem to trust me.

But above all, I was pissed at myself. It had been incredibly stupid of me to fall in love with him like I had. And then I had to go and slap him. Granted he deserved it, but it had hurt him. And I had lied to him. In the heat of the moment, I had called him my friend. And while that's all we were to each other at the time, it definitely felt like a lie because I wanted us to be so much more.

He was my second thought upon waking up after the nerve damage I had received on that last mission. The first, of course, being Komui and how it reminded me of the day he came to the Order. But Nii-san was by far the most important person in my life, so that's really not surprising. However, it was surprising how quickly my thoughts turned to Allen in my half lucid state. I knew that I felt love for that boy, but I hadn't realized that I was already in that deep. Fortunately, Nii-san assumed my inquiry about Allen was because of the mission and his injuries; he was too calm to think it was anything more than that.

My concern faded when I learned that Allen was recovered enough to resume missions, but that's when my anger over what had happened resurfaced. Part of me wanted to go back to how things were before I slapped him, but every time I laid eyes on him, my anger came flooding back. And despite my feelings for him, I just couldn't get past the fury. It was pathetic and childish, but he was going to have to apologize to me before we could move on.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Time for what's going on in Allen's head...

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

 _I was out on a date with Lenalee. We had just finished a romantic dinner and were walking hand in hand along the river. The streetlights were lit as the sky grew dark, tinting everything a soft orange. We laughed and talked, enjoying each other's company. She shivered when the breeze picked up, so I gave her my jacket, making her smile brightly._

 _We sat on a park bench, admiring the scenery around us. She pointed towards the river. "Look how beautiful the moon is, reflected on the water like that."_

 _I turned to her and smiled. "It's not half as beautiful as the way the moonlight shines on your hair and reflects in your eyes."_

 _She blushed at the compliment, the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks making her even more breathtaking. I leaned in slowly and kissed her gently. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and leaned into the kiss, moaning softly. I wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, and placed my other hand on the back of her head. I licked her lips gently, taking advantage of her gasp to introduce my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss. She tasted like peppermint and chocolate cake._

 _Her right hand slid up my back and her fingers knotted into my hair. The left traced slowly down my spine, stopping when she reached my pants. She untucked my shirt, sliding her hand underneath to caress the small of my back._

 _I moaned into the kiss, sliding my hand from her waist, moving gently over her hip, and ghosting down her thigh. When I reached the hem of her skirt, I slid my fingers back up her thigh. Only this time, I was touching her bare skin. The contact felt electric, and she moaned. Breaking the kiss, she threw her head back and cried out when my fingers reached the spot between her legs. With my other hand, I pulled her back in for another kiss, her moaning growing deeper and more erratic as my fingers lightly and repeatedly brushed across her clit through her panties._

 _Her left hand moved from my back, sliding down into my pants where she began massaging my ass. Her right hand released its hold on my hair, and she danced her fingers down my front. She swiftly unbuttoned my pants, sliding her fingers inside, where she began to stroke my erection._

 _I moaned at the wonderful touch, and-_ promptly woke up.

I lay in bed, my heart pounding rapidly, my cheeks flushed, my breathing ragged, and a feeling of bliss washing over me. I reached for the light and noticed that my pants were wet and slightly sticky. I groaned, now thankful for the dark. I had released myself during a very suggestive dream. About Lenalee. It was so very wrong. And the wrongness of it had absolutely nothing to do with having improper thoughts about a friend. That was definitely wrong. But it wasn't my problem at the moment. I had just had a wet dream... about a _girl_... But I was _gay..._...Or at least, I _thought_ I was gay...

For three years, Master Cross had dragged me around brothels, sleazy bars, and the homes of his various mistresses. He was constantly surrounded by beautiful women, and by extension, so was I. However, I had never been even remotely interested in any of it. And that was a terrifying thing for a teenage boy to be aware of. Master Cross would occasionally tease me about being gay, about how I must be into other guys if I wasn't interested in any of the women that were always around. He was only joking; it was just something he'd say to the women who were bothered by my presence. But by that point, I had accepted it to be true. It was actually somewhat comforting to believe that I wasn't interested in the women because I was attracted to men. Mainly because the alternatives my brain concocted all scared the crap out of me. So I accepted that I was gay and it made my life a little easier.

Until that night. When reality slapped me in the face. Much like the girl I found myself dreaming of had done just a couple days earlier. Because I knew deep down that the only reason I would have that kind of dream about someone was if I was attracted to them. Which meant that I was attracted to Lenalee. Who was a girl. Which meant that I was attracted to a girl. Which meant that I wasn't gay. A thought that was both relieving and terrifying.

Some part of my brain pointed out that I'd been stupid to think I was gay just because I wasn't interested in the same types of women as Master Cross. Especially when I'd never actually been attracted to another man either. And I knew it was right. Which only made what had just happened even more embarrassing.

Then the voice had to go and suggest that I was probably just waiting for the right woman... Which meant that some part of me thought that that was _Lenalee_... I desperately wanted to argue with that thought, but the mess in my pants was pretty damning evidence against me.

I forced myself to climb out of bed and clean myself up. I didn't want to move, but lying in bed covered in my release was not helping with my growing embarrassment.

I dressed in clean pants, but instead of returning to bed, I leaned against the wall, the cold stone soothing on my overheated forehead. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to calm my swirling thoughts.

Aside from Master Cross, no one else knew that I had thought I was gay. It would be easy to just pretend that it had never happened. So that's what I would do. And as long as I stuck with that, no one would ever find out.

Lenalee was a different matter though. Thinking about her brought a whole mess of things to the surface. I couldn't deny that I was attracted to her - that ship had already sailed. I latched onto the first coherent thought that surfaced and immediately wished I hadn't. _Is it only attraction, or do I have feelings for her?_

Memories of our time together flew unbidden through my mind. And I was forced to face my feelings. I recalled the fear I felt when she learned what I had done as a child, and the relief when she didn't treat me different for it. I recalled the butterflies I felt when we were first assigned a mission together. The mix of happiness and insult I felt when she laughed at my awful drawing of Miranda. The hurt I felt that day she told me how she came to the Order. It all added up to one thing. One thing that I couldn't deny, no matter how much I wanted to pretend it wasn't true...

I had feelings for Lenalee that went further than friendship.

With all the other revelations of the night, that one was too much. I staggered to the bed and flopped awkwardly on it, blacking out seconds before I hit the mattress.

.x.x.

I was assigned a mission the next day, and I have no idea how I was able to stay focused on it. Somehow, I didn't think of what had happened that night even once until the Innocence had been recovered and we were on our way back to the Order. I imagine it had something to do with the strange weather, that idiot Kanda, and a family with a story that hit a little too close to home. But once I'd returned home, that focus faded.

I saw Lenalee in the hall when I was on my way to the cafeteria. I tried to catch up to her, but she seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere, and I lost track of her. I vaguely wondered if she was avoiding me because she was still mad at me, but she didn't seem like the type to hold a grudge, so I dismissed that idea.

That night I had another dream about her. Or rather, I had the same dream, only I didn't wake in the middle of it that time. And even though I slept through the night, I still woke up covered in my release.

The next couple days were awkward. I found myself looking for Lenalee constantly, but I always seemed to just miss her. My paranoid side insisted that she was avoiding me, but I ignored it because I had bigger problems.

It was fairly obvious to me by that point that I'd been falling in love with Lenalee since I'd met her. Not being able to find her was disheartening. I wanted to be by her side and see her smile. I wanted to talk and laugh with her. And I wanted to know if she cared for me too.

On the other hand, I continued to dream about her. And it was always the kind of dream that left me either wet and sticky or incredibly hard. It would be mortifying if she ever learned that I thought about her like that.

I was thankful to be assigned another mission, even if I was being sent to track down that bastard Kanda. I needed to get away from headquarters and clear my head. However, as was usual for me, luck was not with me, and it was Lenalee who was being sent with me.

It was obvious from her tone and her body language that she was indeed still mad at me over what happened. My paranoid side gloated a little at being right. I was going to have to apologize. It was going to be difficult because I wasn't sure why what I'd done had upset her. But I couldn't stand having her give me the cold shoulder anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Just to warn you so that it doesn't catch you too off-guard: Kanda is going to be narrating parts of this chapter. Also, this is one of the _very_ few chapters in which I copy dialogue word for word from the original story. But that couldn't really be avoided given what that dialogue is...

To Leone Brion: Yes, I'm doing fillers. But just from season one, and it's really only the ones I feel have a lot of AllenxLenalee potential. I'm trying very hard to keep everything focused on their feelings for each other.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

I froze in my tracks when I heard Allen say that he wanted to talk about what happened. After all the time that had passed, I had started to think that he wasn't taking the matter seriously. Apparently, I was wrong. And it may have just been wishful thinking on my part, but it actually sounded like he was nervous.

Then he apologized. He looked so adorable bowing like that. But I was still pissed, and adorable wasn't going to win him any points. If anything, it was going to work against us both in the long run, because if I got too lost in it, I wouldn't be able to say the things I needed to say. Which is why I placed the grocery bag on his head. To prevent him from standing up and looking me in the eye with those silver pools that made my insides melt. I couldn't let him off the hook that easily. "Don't try to get up yet, I still haven't forgiven you."

"O-Ok."

"You're really selfish, Allen-kun. You think that being able to see the souls of the akuma means that you carry the whole burden. And you sacrifice yourself, instead of letting other people help." I paused, searching for the right words and trying not to cry. "I wonder what friendship even means to you, because it's insulting when you won't even allow me to fight beside you." The tears I was holding back started to fall. It was embarrassing, but crying helped get out the childish words that were bothering me. "I hate ... your stupid left eye. I hate it."

"Lenalee, I-" Allen started to say something, but decided against it. He set down the bag and knelt in front of me where I'd collapsed. "Thank you for saving my life."

There it was, the 'thank you' that I'd been expecting back then. Just a little bit late. At least he seemed to have learned his lesson. "You're welcome. I'm sure it won't be the last time."

I ran off before the words were completely out of my mouth. I was certain he was smiling that half smile that made his face crinkle up in a way that made me want to kiss him, and I really didn't want to see it when my anger had yet to fade.

"I wonder if that means she's decided to forgive me." I heard him ask Timcanpy, confirming my suspicions that his expression was adorable.

"What are you waiting for?" I called back to him from the doorway. "Hurry up and get on! If we miss this train, the next one to Rome isn't until tomorrow!"

I laughed a little at his panicked look, though I was somewhat impressed that he managed to carry both of our suitcases and the groceries. I could have helped, but it seemed like a fitting punishment.

The ride was a little awkward after what happened. Fortunately, we had a mission briefing to read to distract us. And thankfully, it was interesting, and the atmosphere grew pleasant as we discussed it.

.x.x.

That first day in Rome was not productive, mission-wise. Watching-Allen-wise, it was very productive. It was always surprising to me how focused he got on missions, like everything else ceased to exist.

Except food. Even when we finally had a lead in our investigation, he was more interested in the buffet line. His obsession with food definitely went further than just a parasite-type's need for energy. It was mildly annoying. And oddly attractive. The love-struck side of me wondered if I would ever be important enough to him that he'd get distracted by me like he did by food.

I also saw Allen get angry with someone who wasn't Kanda for the first time. It was almost funny the way he nearly blew up at those noblemen. He was still fuming after we left, and it made me giggle. It just seemed so out of character for him.

We shared a room at the inn that night. I was both thankful for, and disappointed in, the makeshift curtain separating us. We talked about the mission and the missing girl, and it distracted me from my desire to watch Allen sleep.

At least until the lights were out. I worked hard to suppress my longing to cross to his side of the room and take in his beautiful, innocent sleeping form. But the thoughts that started coming were not what I expected. I found myself wanting _him_ to be the one to cross the curtain. To have Allen come to me. Not to watch me sleep, but to sleep with me. And I was surprised, and slightly mortified, to find that my imagination meant that as a euphemism. I fell asleep wondering what it would be like to have sex with Allen.

.x.x.

My ability to focus on the mission surprisingly didn't falter with Lenalee accompanying me. But then again, my position as an exorcist sort of defined me, and I knew better than to let what I suspected was a fleeting, hormonal crush get in the way of that.

That all went to hell, though, when we had to share a room for the night. It was torture knowing that I had feelings for the girl on the other side of the curtain. And I prayed, oh how I prayed, that my dreams would be clean that night.

... They weren't.

A dream of crossing to her side of the room and sleeping with her left me with a problem. Fortunately, it was the lesser of two evils; the erection was annoying and embarrassing, but I could hide it. And the curtain, which I had hated the night before, allowed me to sneak out without having to face Lenalee.

One very cold shower later, and I was able to focus on the mission once again. It was easy to stay focused when there were akuma to save and a stubborn samurai to deal with. Getting injured, while thoroughly unpleasant, was also a great way to keep my focus where it should be.

.x.x.

I lay awake in the bed, the wound on my side bandaged. Lenalee sat in the chair beside the bed, with that worried look on her face that made me want to hit her. Too bad she's a woman; a good smack might knock some sense into her. She knew better than to worry over me.

If anyone needed her worry, it was that idiot Moyashi. It would take his Innocence arm a lot longer to heal than my wounds would. Not that I was concerned for the moron, the damn woman was just that annoying.

She finally left when the finder asked her to go out to the other room and listen to the legend. I didn't want to hear that stupid story again, but I figured it would be worth it if Lenalee would leave me alone.

With nothing else to do, my eyes wandered through the doorway to the other room. They landed on the Moyashi first. The kid seemed to be absorbed in the ridiculous love story. _Idiot_. Then I caught him stealing a glance at Lenalee. The rest wasn't hard to put together. The Moyashi really was a moron; falling in love with Lenalee was just about the stupidest thing anyone could possibly do.

Bored to death, my attention shifted to her, wondering if she knew about the little idiot's crush on her. What I saw would have surprised me if I cared. The girl was practically drooling over the shirtless Moyashi. It just confirmed what I'd long suspected: Lenalee wasn't quite all there. Who in their right mind would want that scrawny little bean sprout?

Ugh. That was not a thought I needed to have. I shifted to a more comfortable position and gave up on trying to stay awake.

.x.x.

The akuma were defeated and the Innocence had been recovered. A successful mission. Getting injured was just a hazard of the job. If only the others would understand that. They tried to get me to stay behind to 'recover properly'. But I managed to convince them, with a little help from Mugen, that I could rest just fine on the train home. Though if I had known that the ride was going to end up being that fucking annoying, I would have stayed behind.

The three of us shared a cabin, and the finder waited outside. Despite what I had said, my injuries bothered me enough to keep me from being able to sleep sitting up. Which meant that I was stuck with the company of Lenalee and the idiot Moyashi. They left me alone, but in my irritated mood, all that mattered was that I was bored. I just sat there, silently fuming, the pouring rain making it impossible to see the scenery. Their conversation was far from interesting, talking about banal things like food and the weather.

As I watched them, I couldn't help noticing that the behavior I had observed the other day didn't seem to be a fluke. Lenalee was flirting with the Moyashi as they talked, though he was too much of an idiot to pick up on it. She too, was somehow completely oblivious to the fact that he was flirting back. It was nauseating.

The Moyashi looked at Lenalee like she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. And I'd heard enough rumors about General Cross to know that that wasn't true. Lenalee wasn't all that pretty either. Though seeing as the girl was basically my little sister (the only part of Teidoll's "we're a family" nonsense that made any sense to me), my opinion wasn't exactly unbiased.

The whole thing was moronic. They were both idiots. Falling in love during a war was reckless, and they would only get hurt. Or cause problems for everyone around them. Or both. It would be in everyone's best interest to split them up before anything started. But that would require effort on my part, and I simply didn't care enough. It was also none of my business, so long as it wasn't me they caused problems for. Then, and only then, would I get involved.

The two hopped off at the next stop to grab some food while I waited on the train. I tried to take advantage of the quiet, hoping to fall asleep before they returned, so that I wouldn't have to put up with the nauseating flirting anymore.

Life really hated me that day. The idiot Moyashi had left his golem behind, and the little golden _thing_ seemed hell-bent on getting my attention. I repeatedly swatted it away, but it just didn't get the message. The fucking thing was almost as annoying as its master. Losing what little patience I had, I drew Mugen and pointed it at the thing. "What the fuck do you want?"

The golem grinned at me, knowing that I knew that it would just reform if I did break it. A series of gestures got its point across surprisingly quickly. It wanted my help getting Lenalee and the Moyashi together. "Fuck no. There's no way in hell that I'm going to do that."

It wasn't happy with that response and tried to nestle in my hair like it always did to the Moyashi. I swatted it away and threatened it with Mugen again. It pouted at me. "Fuck no." I repeated.

The pouting turned to crocodile tears. And it was in that moment that the others returned. The golem kept up the act and flew straight into the brat's arms. "Bakanda! What do you think you're doing?"

"Che. It started it." I sheathed Mugen and slumped back into my seat. "And it's your own damn fault for leaving the thing behind."

The brat looked like he was about to argue when Lenalee stepped in. "He's right, Allen-kun. Besides, Tim's not hurt, so everything's fine, right?"

"Right." He caved immediately to her gentle tone, and I vaguely wondered if he was aware that she already had him whipped. She handed him something from the bag she was carrying, and he brightened up immediately.

Food, _of course_. I smirked and Lenalee immediately rounded on me. "And you... You promised that you'd rest! What were you thinking, drawing Mugen on a golem?"

"It started it." I grumbled, crossing my arms and glaring at the thing. I didn't want to pick a fight with Lenalee, but I was in a foul mood. "You'd think that the stupid thing would have figured out by now that it should leave me alone."

"That's no reason to threaten him with your sword!" The damn woman was starting to get on my nerves. Her next sentence only made it worse. "Now, apologize to Timcanpy."

"Fuck no!" This girl definitely had more than a few screws loose if she thought I would do such a thing. "I'm not _apologizing_ to a fucking _golem_."

"Of course not." Lenalee sighed wearily and returned to her seat. She and the Moyashi ate their lunch, and the train resumed its journey. The wonderful silence ended as the pair continued with their awkward flirting. The bothersome golem and I glared at each other the rest of the trip. It kept pointing at Lenalee and the Moyashi with its tail, as if trying to get me to change my mind. It was as annoying as hell, but the actions finally ceased when I adjusted my grip on Mugen.


	5. Chapter 5

Ever since that first dream, I had begun to daydream about Lenalee. It started out innocently enough: wanting to hold her hand, or sit next to her in the library. But as time went on, they started to get more involved.

She came down to breakfast one morning with her hair down. The way those green-black strands cascaded down her back was drool-worthy, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to brush that gorgeous hair. A dab of jam in the corner of her mouth had me wanting to lick her lips to clean it off.

Before I knew it though, the daydreams started going the way of my dreams, and I often found myself retreating to the privacy of my bedroom. It was always a tense walk, simultaneously forcing myself to think of something, _anything_ , other than Lenalee, and desperately trying to reach my room before some passerby noticed the growing bulge in my pants.

The frantic retreat was followed with either a cold shower or waiting for the feeling to pass. I refused to touch myself. It was bad enough that my hormonal teenage body made everything sexual; I was not going to add masturbation to that. It would only make things worse, and I was already on thin ice for lusting after Lenalee.

.x.x.

I had a day off, and I was going to enjoy it. I was going to go into town with Mr. Russell, and we were going to do some shopping for our families. And above all, I was going to get away from Allen. It seemed like all I did lately was moon over that white haired boy with the beautiful scar and wonder if he loved me back. I needed to get outside into the fresh air and clear my head. I couldn't continue to mope over my unrequited love.

The weather was nice, and Mr. Russell was great company. Shopping was fun, and yet I was not being very successful in my mission. I couldn't help but wish that I were out with a certain white haired boy. Couldn't help imagining him holding my hand as we walked from shop to shop. Couldn't help imagining dragging him away from every food stall we passed as he drooled and whined about being hungry.

In retrospect, if I hadn't been so distracted by daydreams of Allen, I probably would have noticed that Nii-san was in one of his overprotective moods again.

.x.x.

Lavi and I had gone to the Science Department to chat with Johnny and Reever and the other scientists. Something was always happening down there, and I needed the distraction. What I was not expecting, however, was to see Lenalee in street clothes on her way to go out for the day...

She looked fabulous. I couldn't help but stare. But at least I wasn't drooling, like Lavi sometimes does when he sees a pretty girl. Part of me noted that the image of Lenalee dressed like that was exactly what I had been trying to avoid by coming to the Science Department, but it wasn't until Lavi accused me of staring that I was able to look away. I don't remember what happened between then and Lenalee leaving; my head was too fuzzy while she was there.

My head cleared once she was gone, and I noticed that Mr. Russell was absent. I pounced on the distraction, trying to keep my thoughts from drifting to places they didn't need to be. Fortunately, I got the distraction I wanted. Unfortunately, I somehow started a chain reaction that sent Komui into one of his psychotic robot-making frenzies.

I ended up in town with everyone else, following Komui and trying to stop him from ruining Lenalee's day off. Fortunately, I had serious things to worry about, i.e. the psychotic robot-making supervisor, or I might have gotten lost in daydreams of Lenalee.

I knew the man was overprotective of his little sister, but I never imagined that it went so far that he'd try to break up a date that wasn't really a date. It scared the crap out of me. If that was how he reacted to someone who clearly had no intentions towards her, what would happen to me, if he ever found out that I frequently daydreamed about her? I didn't want to imagine it, but I knew it would be a thousand times worse than the drill he used on my Innocence.

I destroyed the rebuilt Sir Koumlin, only to be shot with some weird gun that stuck an octopus on my head. It was probably karma, unknowing payback for the dirty thoughts I had. I struggled to remove the thing, and Timcanpy tried to help, but it just wouldn't come off. And when it did finally come off, there was another one underneath it!

Ridding myself of the second octopus was just as obnoxious as the first, and when it was gone, I took stock of my surroundings. I found a drugged and half-conscious Lavi, a destroyed shop, and a tied up Mr. Russell. After piecing together what happened, I rushed to catch up with the others, arriving just in time to destroy the akuma that was apparently stalking Lenalee.

.x.x.

I should have known that Komui and his latest Koumlin robot were behind those explosions. And to think he thought I was dating Mr. Russell. The whole thing was psychotic! I used a little more force than usual when I kicked some sense into him with the Dark Boots, taking out some of my frustrations on him.

After stopping Koumlin and saving Mr. Russell, it turned out that he was really a shapeshifting akuma trying to kill me. And guess who showed up just in time to save the day? Allen. Fortunately, he had an octopus stuck on his head. It made me laugh at the last second rescue, rather than the weak-in-the-knees love-struck I would have probably felt otherwise. The clueless look on his face as we all laughed was adorable, however, and it stuck with me even after we'd finished cleaning up the mess Komui had made of the town.

.x.x.

Whenever we looked back on that day, everyone would laugh about the octopus heads, but I never could. They assumed I was embarrassed, but the truth was that the event was a terrifying reminder that I was eventually going to be on the receiving end of Komui's sister complex.

But there was a different problem I was focused on. I had finally identified the cause of the pain in my chest that I had felt watching Lenalee and Mr. Russell that day: it was jealousy. I wanted it to be me that she went out with, wanted it to be me that she dragged into shops and stopped for tea with.

And that made the other problem I'd been having worse. Cold showers just weren't cutting it anymore. They still worked, but they began taking longer and using colder water. I caved in my resolve and resorted to touching myself. Jerking off was quicker and more effective, the feeling making me wonder why I had been so against it. Then I'd come down from the high and feel awful.

I needed a mission. I needed to get out of headquarters and away from Lenalee. I needed to clear my head.

I should have been more specific in my wishing. Being sexually frustrated at home was infinitely preferable to being sent to look for Master Cross.

That mission turned out to be worth it in the end. I could have done without the reminders of how traumatic my time with Master Cross was though. Vampire hunting with Lavi was fun, if a little harrowing, and we got a new comrade out of the deal. My cursed eye evolved too, though it's hard to tell if that was a good thing.

But best of all, I had several days free of daydreaming about Lenalee. I thought about her occasionally: wondering if she missed me, if she really would never speak to me again if I got bitten. They were all clean thoughts and my dreams stayed dry.

The trip home was an adventure and a half. Looking after Krory was a bit annoying, but at least I got to beat the snot out of some guys at poker. I was starting to think that my thing with Lenalee was just a crush that I had finally gotten over.

But then we arrived at headquarters, and Lenalee had to save us from one of Komui's crazy robots, and all of my problems came right back. She was just so beautiful and had such a strong spirit. And that was it. The final nail in my coffin. I would never again be able to deny that I was in love with her.


End file.
